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My only consolation is that this should be the last time I have to do this.

on June 2, 2014

Last Monday, Small Girl decided she didn’t want to wear her nappy.  Although she hasn’t taken to previous attempts at potty-training, I was willing to let her run around in knickers for most of the day and see what happened.  Mainly what happened was weeing on the floor.  On Tuesday she weed on the floor in the morning, had two accidents at nursery, and did a poo on the floor when she came home.  But the path to potty training Big Girl wasn’t always smooth, so I was willing to persevere.  On Wednesday she did a poo *and* a wee on the floor in the morning, had another accident at nursery, screamed at the mere mention of the potty and did a final dirty protest before bedtime, to make her feelings clear.  On Thursday she went to nursery in a nappy.

I relayed all this to Ex-Husband when he came to pick her up on Friday, in the interests of information-sharing.  Well, I said “we tried potty training this week but she doesn’t like to use the potty, so it’s not worked”.  Close enough.  So I was quite surprised when he brought her home yesterday wearing a pair of knickers and, apparently, having had no accidents all weekend.  Ex-Husband explained to me that he’d put her on the toilet after every meal, and every three hours, and she’d been fine.  He said that, as she could clearly do it, it would be good to try to keep her in knickers.  He left and she pooed on the rug.

Being a good parent, I decided to persevere (again).  This morning we went to play at a friend’s house.  Not much strains on a friendship like bringing your child to someone else’s house and letting it wee on their carpet.  Particularly if you say ‘We’ve just started potty-training this morning!  I thought we’d do it here instead of at my house!’  So I attempted to put Small Girl on the toilet every thirty minutes.  She did not like this.  She did not like it a lot.  But, eventually, after distracting her with Captain Barnacles, she managed to wee in the toilet.  Hurrah!  And then we went home for lunch, and she did a wee in our toilet.  And then we went to the dentist and the shoe shop and to Ikea, and she did a wee in the toilet at Ikea.  I am considering making some kind of ‘places to wee’ list and seeing how many she can collect.

And then… And then she did a poo.  In the play area at Ikea.  Fortunately, it was contained by her knickers, and easily cleaned up, but perhaps I should have known better after our last Ikea misadventure. There’s really no good resolution to this sort of situation.  We’re in the restaurant.  We have dinner.  We need to deal with poo.  I don’t really want to leave our dinner to traipse off to the toilet.  But neither do I want to (a) sort out poo in the restaurant or (b) eat my dinner after clearing up the poo without washing my hands fourteen times in almost-scalding water.  Neither do I want to carry the resulting lump of poo, wrapped in baby wipes and tied up in a nappy bag,around in my bag.  There are *many* reasons why no-one likes potty-training.

And finally, when we got home, there was just time for one more wee on the rug.  In that shutting-the-door-after-the horse-has-bolted response which I hope all parents are familiar with, I stuck her onto the potty.  And she sat there long enough for another poo in the potty.  So today hasn’t felt entirely unsuccessful.  But I did feel a huge internal sigh of relief when it was bedtime and I could legitimately put a nappy on her.

Which she immediately did a poo in.  *sigh*



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