Project Awesome

Making my life more awesome

It’s inevitable: a post about New Year’s Resolutions

on December 31, 2012

31 December 2011: I stayed with friends, who were lovely and looked after me.  We watched the highlights of the year and I cried, remembering sharing so many of those events with Ex-Husband, and having no idea of what was going to happen. Remembering the optimism of my pregnancy, of planning labour and our new life with two children, and the joy of having Small Girl, and then the devastation of my life falling to bits.

31 December 2012: I didn’t write a Christmas newsletter because I just couldn’t bear to relive 2012 or find anything to say about it. But I read through my whole blog, since February, after a couple of commenters (thank you!) said they had, and I was amazed. I had completely forgotten about the Poo Incident. And, somehow, the broken leg. And I was amazed at just how funny I could be about some really awful things.  I think winter and the darkness (not the band, of course) and the run of birthdays and anniversaries and Christmas makes it hard for me.

But I’m really looking forward to 2013. I remain convinced that life *should* subscribe to some sort of narrative, so here’s mine: I’m going for something like The Hunger Games (very loosely.  Very very loosely).  2011: There’s a huge tragedy.  How will our heroine respond? 2012 was the year that I dealt with the crisis, grew through it, learned some valuable life lessons.  2013 will be the Year Of Glorious Triumph. Of course, there will have to be one last crisis where it looks like everything is going to fall apart, but I will come through it.  That’s what happens in novels.

So here’s what I’m planning to make happen in 2013: I am going to make my life work.  I am going to get rid of all the things which make life difficult. I am going to work out what I need to do to make life easier. I am going to reorganise my life until I am doing the things which matter to me: making my children happy, feeding them well, spending fun time with them. This year I have tried to do things to make my life better – next year I am going to make my family function because (a) I love my children and (b) the biggest stress for me is feeling like a shit parent, which happens more than I like.

And then I’m going to make a list of things I’d like to do which I haven’t yet tried.  I’m going to make a list of 12 things I’ve never done and then I’m going to do them.  So far my list includes ‘make a souffle’.  That’s it.  Your suggestions for a further 11 would be very welcome.

Happy New Year, and thank you for helping me to feel more awesome.

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3 responses to “It’s inevitable: a post about New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Col says:

    Climb a wainwright

  2. caspar70 says:

    Did you come up with any more? I’d join you in making a list but at the moment I’ve too much going on. Maybe next year I will do the same!

    • I did. I’m going to do a post listing them, but not tonight – I need to tidy the lounge and go to sleep. Once you’ve got through the initial shock and grieving and got some kind of order to your life it might be time to start thinking about what to do next.

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