Project Awesome

Making my life more awesome

Getting back out there. Well, nearly.

on December 2, 2012

Internet dating turns out to be much harder work than I thought.  In the spirit of ‘moving on’ and ‘drawing a line under my marriage’, I thought I’d have a go.  Not that I’m really ready to be in a relationship again, and there are a lot of things I like about being single, but I thought I’d try going online, having a look at who is out there, and go on a few dates.  Try something new, chat to some men, enjoy the fact that I can because I’m single.

It’s not that I think I’m all that, or that everyone should be falling over themselves to go out with me, but I’d assumed that, with an internet full of men wanting to go on dates with women, and me being a woman looking to go on dates with men, that would somehow result in , well, you know, dates. Nope.

I looked at a few profiles.  I ‘liked’ some people.  I sent a couple of messages.  Nothing.  I realised I’d been fooling myself when I claimed I really wasn’t bothered.  Of course I was.  Who likes being rejected by the internet in its entirety?  I mean, of course, it’s not me, it’s the profile they’re rejecting.  But it’s a profile that looks like me and has all the bits of me that I think are most attractive.  So yes, I was a bit disappointed.

And then I got a message.  From a man in Huddersfield.  We did a bit of back-and-forth messaging, which I am completely rubbish at.  I find small talk really hard.  I find chatting on email a challenge.  Chatting to someone I’ve never met on email about random stuff is not one of my strengths.  But I persevered.  He complained that I didn’t ask about him.  I tried harder.  He suggested that we speak on the phone.  I said I wasn’t comfortable with that (not only do I not do well chatting on email, I hate speaking on the phone).  He said he thought I would be fine.  I suggested that we just meet up.  We arranged a time and date.  I then asked for ideas for what we could do.  He said we could decide on the day.  I said I’d rather have slightly firmer plans than that, so I knew what we’d be doing, could tell someone where I was going, and so I could decide what to wear.  His reply was that actually he’d rather leave it as I was disturbing him, it was a bit weird and he thought I was on a power trip.  And he finished with “perhaps you need to get some help, sweetie”.

The thing that really irks me, apart from his weird rudeness, was that I wasn’t even that interested.  I didn’t think we had that much in common and his spelling and grammar were appalling, and he wasn’t that bothered about me feeling comfortable with how things were progressing, and he was into model railways.  I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and he dumped me!

But there are a few good things which came out of it.  Firstly, I didn’t have to go on a date with him.  Secondly, I possibly avoided being dismembered and having my body parts spread across Huddersfield.  And thirdly, it freed me up to go out with two friends from work and have the most fun I have had in a really long time.  We went to Stockport.  I wore a swishy skirt and looked fabulous.  We pub crawled.  I drank a Cheeky Vimto, a longstanding ambition which I intend to repeat.  We saw a drunk old man go into a kebab shop and demand to ‘try’ the food, with some chips, for no money, and get away with it. I may have fallen over once or twice and told them that I loved them both.  It was one of those nights.

Who needs internet dating when you have friends like Simon and Col?


6 responses to “Getting back out there. Well, nearly.

  1. Rachel says:

    What a weirdo. You were being perfectly reasonable. Glad your alternative night out was such a success. Rx

    • Thanks. I’m not sure what provoked such a reaction from him (unless he was actually planning to kill me and chop me up, and felt frustrated that I was thwarting his plans) – he could have just said he didn’t feel we were connecting and he’d rather leave it. Perhaps there’s a reason some people are still single at that age?

      My alternative night out was approximately a million billion trillion times better than my date would have been. I think I’m pretty lucky really.

  2. Myn says:

    I’m definitely convinced that only axe murderers would object to their internet date telling a friend where they’d be. And if he doesn’t understand that you need to plan what to wear, that’s probably the reason why he doesn’t have a woman in his life already. I call that a lucky escape.

  3. Glad you had a good night in Stockport – sounds like you have some good friends there. Just how many times did you fall over?

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