Project Awesome

Making my life more awesome

I like to fling myself wildly from one bad idea to another. This is my favourite so far.

on September 14, 2012

If you thought trying to build flat-pack furniture at tea-time with two toddlers was a bad idea (as my best friend kindly commented, “it was a stupid idea and you brought it on yourself”. Or something; I wasn’t really listening), I may have surpassed it.

Tomorrow I’m at an NCT Volunteers Day at Warwick University. So tonight I’m staying in a Premier Inn. Yes, I’m in a hotel with two toddlers. I’m asking for disaster with children, outside the controlled environment of my own home.

So far this has involved me trying to unpack the bare essentials for bedtime, while Small Girl unpacks *everything* and flings it round the room; ringing reception to inform them that Big Girl has dropped a glass in the sink and smashed it; and trying to get Small Girl to sleep in the travel cot while simultaneously trying to stop Big Girl jumping on my bed, shouting ‘hello’ to Small Girl, and flushing the toilet. As we have an en-suite, Big Girl has been to the toilet three times this evening. Each time, she opens the door, flooding the room with light, and talks loudly to me, while I try to shush her, hoping to be firm without actually making her cry. This is a difficult balance to achieve at the best of times, and these are far from the best of times.

So I’m in a lovely hotel room, which feels like a luxury. Except the kettle, tv and lovely soft bed with reading lamp are all in the bedroom with a sleeping toddler and a not-sleeping toddler. So I am hiding in the bathroom, hoping not to lacerate my bum on any remaining shards of glass that Big Girl has distributed, reading a magazine, not even having a bath in case the sound of water wakes up Small Girl or bring Big Girl charging in to find out (loudly) what I’m doing. This is my sort of a Friday night. And no, of course I’m not jealous of the volunteers who haven’t brought children and are stopping on campus and drinking in the student bar…

We single parents, we know how to live.

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