Project Awesome

Making my life more awesome

Two nights’ sleep to enable me to take on the world. And win.

on August 30, 2012

Last night Big Girl and Small Girl stayed at Ex-Husband’s house. I went to the pub with people from Sanctus1. We went to a pub which was snotty about its beer and had no blackcurrant – none at all – so I couldn’t have cider and black. If you like beer, it would be a great pub. If you like to drink alcohol without tasting it, not so much.

I have ambitions to drink a cheeky vimto, the blue-WKD-and-port drink popularised by Charlotte Church.  I feel embarrassed at the thought of asking for it but I also think it would taste amazing. It’s a dilemma.  Sadly, last night my aspirations were unmet.  We did however go on to Bakerie, a wine bar which serves quite expensive cocktails and incredibly cheap, freshly baked bread – probably the best bar snack ever. And we talked. It’s long enough since I’ve been to the pub with friends for an evening of eclectic conversation that it felt like a luxury moment, a memory to savour.

Tonight Big Girl and Small Girl are staying at Ex-Husband’s house again.  This is not ok. Today is the first day since she has existed that I will not see Small Girl. I think she will be ok with it. To me it feels like a prison sentence. I’m at work during the day but tonight I will come home to an empty (and very messy) house and an evening that stretches out with no children, no bathtime, no juggling two different sets of needs, no food on the floor, no night feeds. One night without children is, while I miss them, an opportunity. Two nights without children is a burden, something to get through, something to survive. But I have to get used to is – at the end of the month we are moving to two-night weekends.

So my plan is to use the time to do all those things I tell myself I would do if I didn’t have the children, that I imagine I wish for a couple of hours free to do.  But then, amazingly, always have something better to do when I do have spare time. I’m going to put away the last of the packing from Greenbelt. I’m going to tidy the messy area under the kitchen table which has been there for months, fortunately hidden by the table.  I’m going to wash up.  And I’m going to go to bed and sleep all night.  With two nights’ sleep behind me (admittedly one night broken by anxiously waking up trying to work out where the hell my children were) I think I can probably do anything.


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