Tomorrow, Big Girl is going on holiday with her dad, for a week. This will be the longest I’ve ever been apart from her and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to like it. She is very excited – she’s going on holiday, she’s going with Daddy, she’s going to visit Grandma. I like seeing her so happy. But already I’m getting teary at the thought of her being away. I miss her when I’m at work for three days and I see her in the evenings. I see other people with toddlers throwing tantrums and I feel envy. Yes, and that relief that it’s not my tantrum to deal with. Obviously.
And I worry. Her dad is a good driver but they’re going a long way along some narrow, winding roads where people overtake on blind bends at high speeds. They could drive off a cliff or into a loch. It is unnatural for her to be so far away from me. If anything happens to her, I won’t be there. Again, there is something significantly wrong with the universe. Where is Dr Sam Beckett when you need him?
So… I have some plans. I’m going to a 2nd birthday party. I’m having a minor surgical procedure. I’m going to stay with my parents to recover (and they’ve promised to have Small Girl in their room for one night, so I get all the benefits of a full night’s sleep with none of the being apart that normally goes with it). I’m thinking about taking Small Girl to look at tortoises, as if she’ll care.
Actually, I’m thinking that it will be really nice to have some time on my own with Small Girl. She’s just started walking. She’s making noises that sound like words as long as you know exactly what she’s looking at and what sound she makes to represent that item. She’s started playing ‘chase’. She’s at a lovely age and I don’t get enough time to appreciate it. So I’m going to make the most of this opportunity which has been forced upon me.
Oh, and the opportunity afforded to me by the naps which she still takes, unlike her big sister, to finally tidy my kitchen.
Two hours an afternoon. I can feel the jealousy emanating from all of you.
[…] Big Girl is away. While it frequently feels that the whole universe is just wrong, and nothing may ever be right […]