Project Awesome

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Plastered again

on May 29, 2012

Finally my house is quiet.  It’s 9.30 pm and just getting dusky outside.  It’s finally just pleasantly warm and I’ve just made an approximation of a mojito, without rum and with lemonade rather than soda water, and all the ice in the freezer.  I feel a mixture of relief, sadness and regret.  Ex-Husband and I have spent the afternoon together at the fracture clinic, and it’s just been strange.  It was civil, almost friendly.  In some ways it felt as if we just happened to both be parents to these two beautiful children. It felt almost normal, like travelling back 8 months. I could see Big Girl trying to understand why Mummy and Daddy were both there, and I grieve for her, for not being able to give her the family she so desperately wants. And setting aside who has done what, I feel a resigned sadness for what could have been, for the relationship and future we could have had.

Little Girl is now sporting a bright red plaster, from her toes to just below the knee. If it slips she’ll have to have it extended to above the knee but I’m resisting this if at all possible as I think she’ll hate it.  The doctor we saw today looked at the original x-rays and said it was broken. I wish now that I’d pushed for them to re-x-ray it, given the conflicting diagnoses, to make sure she’s not being unnecessarily plastered.  Nothing more was said about safeguarding, so hopefully that’s over. I wanted Little Girl to come home plaster-free (I’d really like to give her a bath…) but I’m just relieved that this episode is over – now I just have to get used to dealing with a truculent toddler and a wobbly, plastered, adventurous baby.


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