Project Awesome

Making my life more awesome

If only this was just about vomit

on April 7, 2012

So, on Tuesday night I was getting ready for work and suddenly realised I needed to make an Easter bonnet for Big Girl’s Easter Bonnet Parade at nursery.  I made possibly the lamest Easter Bonnet of all time.  She’s old enough to know she’s missing out if everyone else has one and she doesn’t. But she’s not old enough to realise hers is not as good as everyone else’s. I posted a picture on Facebook, adding, sadly, that I had failed to make any food to go in the slow cooker for the next day’s dinner or to do my washing up – both parts of my back-to-work plan.  My kind friend R texted and offered to bring me round a lasagne the next day.

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I went into work.  I did shed a few sneaky tears in the toilet when I missed Little Girl, who I left crying at nursery.  The two days were actually ok and I was very grateful for the bank holiday. It was almost fun. I sit opposite one of my friends, we had chips for lunch, no-one had really noticed I was back so I didn’t have much work to do, I eased myself back in gently. I think I could quite like this.

Thursday night: I put the girls to bed.  Everything seemed fine.  I felt a bit rough so I went to bed. I woke up at 3am feeling sick. Experience has taught me that if you are wondering about getting a sick bowl, you probably won’t really regret doing it (in the same category: if you think, was that a small contraction? Should I put a waterproof sheet on the bed? Do it).  I threw up.  Right next to Little Girl’s head.  She woke up and cried.  I cleared up the mess.  I fed her.  I went back to bed.  I felt like shit.

My personal philosophy is that if you are sick because you’ve drunk too much, you should clean it up yourself. If you are sick because you are poorly, someone else should clean it up for you.  I do resent the fact that I have to juggle breastfeeding and vomiting.  I got food poisoning shortly after Ex-Husband left and at one point was desperately trying to hold some sick down because small girl was so nearly back to sleep and I didn’t want to wake her. To me, this is wrong.

I got up in the morning and felt no better.  I threw up.  I got Big Girl up. I lay on the bathroom floor for a little while.  I got Little Girl up and we went downstairs.  I put her in the lounge waiting for a nappy change and gave Big Girl some breakfast.  I felt faint, lay on the floor for a while and then threw up – on the floor, in my hair, on my dressing gown – and did… erm… other, less mentionable things.  Little Girl was still crying. Big Girl was less than happy with these events.  I sorted myself out.  I sorted them both out.  And felt like shit.

Then I texted my lovely friend Y.  Could she come and look after the girls so I could sleep? I’ve had some awful nights with Little Girl recently and I think the lack of sleep has contributed to my vomitousness.  She rang me back, came over and took my girls away for the rest of the day.  I went to bed and slept.  I woke up when they came back at 6pm, put them to bed and slept.  I woke up at 5am for about half an hour and slept some more.  I woke up to a load of texts and facebook messages checking I was ok and offering help.

I got up this morning feeling better.  My best friend came over with her three boys and her husband.  They brought lunch and dinner, did all the washing up and cleaned my whole kitchen for me.

What I want to say is that being a single parent is rubbish sometimes, especially at times like this. No-one should be choosing between cleaning up their own crap and changing their baby’s nappy. But I feel so lucky to have the friends I have, to know that there are people out there who will do their best to help me and who keep doing their best to help me.

Happy Easter.

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