Project Awesome

Making my life more awesome

It’s all relative

on March 18, 2012

People often ask me how I am and often it’s just a social enquiry, to which I reply “fine” or, more likely, “a bit tired”. I think this is a sign of progress: clearly I’m coping well enough with the total devastation of my life that people don’t feel the need to ask me how I am managing.

Then sometimes people ask me how I am, how I am managing, and I find this harder to answer. How am I doing? Given that my husband suddenly left me, that my world has fallen apart, that I’m a single mum to two tiny and very challenging girls, how am I doing? It’s relative really, and given those circumstances, very well. I did find myself crying at a Phil Collins song yesterday, which is an indicator that there’s still room for improvement – seriously, Phil Collins? – but, mostly, doing well.

And what am I actually achieving? Often it really feels like not much. I’ve been climbing twice and I’ve made a skirt. Woo-hoo! It doesn’t feel like much really. I mean, I’m no Alan Sugar or Richard Branson, building up a business empire. I’m not Ellen MacArthur. But today I’m getting myself, a toddler, a baby, a double pram, a massive rucksack and a handbag to my parents’ house to stop overnight, on the train. That’s pretty impressive. And in the past couple of months I’ve also fixed a blind, replaced a broken toilet seat and lowered the mattress in Little Girl’s cot. None of them were actually difficult but I didn’t know how. The big thing is having a go – they’re all things that I’m embarrassed to admit I would have left to Ex-Husband. Now I’ve started thinking: I’ll have a go. And I’m amazed at what I can achieve.

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3 responses to “It’s all relative

  1. stellakateT says:

    not sure whether I should say this but I loved this piece of writing…not your situation thats pretty awful at the moment but that you are seeing a bit of light at the end of the tunnel…and your ambition to make your life more awesome. You sure aren’t a victim… looking forward to reading more….

  2. Thanks – writing about my situation here gives me some structure for looking for that light, and for keeping going with the awesomeness, and I feel encouraged when people say they enjoy reading it – particularly people other than my long-suffering friends and family 🙂

  3. seaswift says:

    My sister’s in a similar situation to you, only her children are a bit older. Ironically, one of the first things she told me she had to do was replace a toilet seat and how proud she was that she did it on her own! Keep on achieving.

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