Project Awesome

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Going out!

on February 29, 2012

Both my daughters are spending the night at Daddy’s house.  So I’ve been out – drinks, food at Tampopo, and a pink cocktail at The Cornerhouse. It’s been a lot of fun. Now I’m home in a very quiet house with the prospect of a full night’s sleep.  I like sleep – I crave sleep – I haven’t had many full nights of sleep for nearly 3 years. But it’s the first night I’ve been apart from Little Girl since she’s been born and it doesn’t feel quite right. There’s a good chance I’ll wake up at 3am convinced I’ve left her on a train.

Raspberry mojito

However, if this goes well – if she sleeps, if she takes milk, if she is happy when she comes home – it’s likely that she’ll spend more nights at her dad’s house with Big Girl.  I may soon find myself with every other weekend free.  This both excites and terrifies me.

Prior to getting pregnant with Big Girl, I’d spent two years studying while working, which kept me very busy.  So I’ve spent 5 years barely going out.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do with all these weekends.  I need to go out and see people – spending all day without speaking to another adult is not good for me. I could go out during the day and spend the evening watching films – the gap between Little Girl going to sleep and waking up for another feed isn’t always long enough to fit in a film. I could even go out in the evening.  But where would I go? What would I do? And who with?

I wrote this on Saturday night after I got in, and I’m pleased to say that Little Girl didn’t seem to be unduly scarred by a night away from me, so we’re going to try again. I spent the morning, after 9 hours’ sleep, cleaning and tidying. Partly I was trying to keep busy, to keep at bay that nagging sensation you get when you know you’ve forgotten something but have no idea what and, apparently, when your children are away for the night, but also it felt a bit like nesting – I wanted to prepare the house for my babies to come back to and I felt like I was caring for them even though they weren’t there.

As an aside, Little Girl went all night without milk at her dad’s house.  I have been trying to replicate this but with very little success.  She knows I have milk, she wants it and she’s not prepared to sleep without it.  I’m not sure whether, if I persevere, she’ll settle into sleeping all night or whether I should accept that we’ll all get more sleep if I just feed her.


2 responses to “Going out!

  1. celeste says:

    Well done for little girl. I can understand the nesting though. I used to feel lost when B went away. I think I’ll be clinging onto the boy for even longer than I did her.
    And well done for going out. After 4 years+ of staying home I’d just started having a regular night out before the boy arrived, I’m missing them. However I didn’t drink, I always had to drive, and I was pregnant. I expect to get very drunk on 1/2 a pint when I do drink again.
    I recommend the mojitos at The Deaf Institute.

  2. Simon H says:

    I love the Deaf Institute, good food there too.

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